Saturday, August 28, 2010

Fuck you, Glenn Beck.

That's right Glenn Beck, you pus-filled tumor on the sphincter of humanity, fuck you right in the eye. Eat a dick. Go to hell. You can rot now, or rot later . . . on second thought, the sooner the better.

That said, if you haven't heard about Fox News' "personality" Glenn Beck's currently successful attempt to once again prove that he's the very gaping Maw of the World's Largest Asshole, you might count yourself among the lucky, for keeping your spirit unsullied by ugly things.

For me, just knowing that this piece of shit in shoes, Glenn Beck, is dropping his particular brand of turd-bombs into our collective consciousness at the Lincoln Memorial - on the day of Martin Luther King Jr.'s transcendent "I Have a Dream" speech no less - claiming to be "Restoring Honor" and "taking the country back" for his racist and ignorant Tea Party audience; well, that's enough to make me wish that the kidney stones that I know are accruing in my gut would attempt to pass more quickly, so that I could have something more pleasant upon which to focus my attentions. Hell I'd rather shit blood than watch the Maw - flanked by Sarah Failin', of course - peddling his hateful slurry of paranoid vitriol on his little army of inbred hilljacks.

Nope, if you haven't heard what that scumfuck is doing at the Lincoln Memorial today, just read no further and go about your day knowing that Thank God Almighty, the sun can still shine, as it does here in Chicago.

The NY Times' Bob Herbert takes down the World's Largest Asshole with two things the self-obsessed dickbag himself, Glenn Beck, could never muster in his wildest fantasies: dignity and intellect.
America is better than Glenn Beck. For all of his celebrity, Mr. Beck is an ignorant, divisive, pathetic figure. On the anniversary of the great 1963 March on Washington he will stand in the shadows of giants — Abraham Lincoln and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Who do you think is more representative of this nation?

Consider a brief sampling of their rhetoric.

Lincoln: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

King: “Never succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter.”

Beck: “I think the president is a racist.”
This article is, like I said, fairly dignified and intelligent in tone. Bob Herbert seems to be a pretty restrained fellow, I guess, although he allowed himself to admit that "[Beck] makes you want to take a shower." I agree. Glenn Beck does make me want to take a shower. But whereas Bob Herbert leaves it at that, I'd add that the thought of Beck and Sarah Failin' spreading their Diarrhea-of-the-Human-Consciousness at the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream Speech" makes me want to take a shower . . . because I always want to take a shower when I've been puking and shitting blood all over myself, while passing kidney stones.

Herbert's treatment of Beck's disgusting homage to both himself and to the embittered assholes who are keeping this country from turning the corner toward the 21st Century was thoughtful and quite forgiving, in my opinion. I won't claim that this blog post represents the more charitable and dignified wing of responses to Glenn Beck's . . . . what do I call it? . . . blasphemy* (I guess).

Nope. Not going for dignified and intellectual with this one. I think I've made my point clear. Pretty much, Glenn Beck's pathetic and self-centered "taking a piss" on what still remains as good and decent in this human family, called America; makes me want to puke and shit blood while passing kidney stones . . . because it's actually preferable to witnessing the event itself. That's pretty much my thesis here, and I'm stickin' to it. The Very Gaping Maw of the World's Largest Asshole, Glenn Beck, took me to this dark place of our collective consciousness, and this is my response, now that I'm here.

I'd add furthermore, that, you know . . . as a person who is aware of the Event in Question, and as someone who will probably hear a lot more about it on the Internet over the next few days, I actually hope to puke and shit blood while passing kidney stones. At least at that point I'll feel like something cathartic has happened, like something major has been expunged from the system. As the good folks at have noted:
The reality is that the next day—and five days a week from there on out—Beck will be back on Fox News, speaking to millions and spreading hate, lies, and fear, as he does every week.

No catharsis there. And no expunging. Just hours and hours . . . more of the same dookie-butter mixed with blood, and more kidney stones too. Sadly, due to Media's Right Wing echo chamber, through which anything that Rupert Murdoch and Robert Ailes promote as "news" becomes, in fact, "News" on every channel, the unfortunate result of Beck and Sarah Failin's little pep session to their redneck, willfully-ignorant audience is likely to be a BUMP in Beck's ratings this week.

Turn Off Fox.

But aside from turning it off, which most of us already have, there's nothing we can do about that. Stupid is, indeed, as stupid does. And embittered racist turns out to be, also, as embittered racist does. So let's just deal with the basics here, shall we?
Glenn Beck's nauseating turd-pile of an event today makes me want to shit and puke blood while passing kidney stones.
By keeping it simple, we can get a clear message across.

Hey Glenn Beck, Sarah Failin', I got something for you:


* Yeah, 'blasphemy' is the word for what the World's Largest Asshole is accomplishing today.

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