Hasta la pasta, Governor Failin'

Governor Palin's rambling, incoherent resignation speech was embarrassing for me to watch. As she invoked the troops, her family, the game of basketball, a refrigerator magnet, General MacArthur, and - literally - "how much she loves her job"; I was left with the impression that Alaskans must not be getting enough oxygen up there, to elect this moron to any office at any point.

How is it that the people listening to her awful, embarrassing, nonsensical quote "speech" unquote - live and in-person - found the sense of decorum to applaud at the end? It was stunning, to me, to hear the clapping at the end. But not all did. I noticed that during the pan to the audience, one honest older gent just shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground . . . a wisp of sanity behind the beaming Nordic faces on the lunatics, clapping politely.

More than ever, I actually felt a little sorry for Sarah. I mean here she is, on a national media platform, being once again exposed in all her radiant incompetence and outright lunacy, having another spat of verbal diarrhea live on CNN. I'll give her this. She shot from the gut. Oh it was a big ol' shootin'-from-the-gut kind o' stupid, indeed. Governor Failin's speech was gut-shot all over! Not being Sarah's biggest fan, at first I thought it was funny, but the humor was lost after about 2 minutes, and the whole speech took on a sad, pathetic overtone; the wan sun casting a not-quite-bright-enough light on one of America's dimmest political bulbs.

At one point, these words emerged together from the frothy melange a stupide: " . . . . our resources should be our priorities with time and resources. . . "

Yes, Sarah. Our resources should indeed be our priorities with time and resources. You hit that one right on the money, baby.

Hard to say whether she'll be back for a Presidential run in 2012 - the immediate rumor per Andrea Mitchell was that Governor Failin' is out of politics for good, although her spokeswoman . . . who . . . really ought to be doing most of the heavy lifting for Good Sarah . . . said that the speech was "fightin' words." Not sure that's exactly what I gathered from it but hey, let's quibble.

As to why this sudden "not politics as usual" move? Well the Governor claimed it was a family decision. In fact her description of the vote - i.e. "four yeahs and one hell yeah" - reflected the best Sarah's speech had to offer. To be fair, she also blamed the media - which was real unpredictable, lemme tell ya - gave some nonsense about not wanting to be a lame duck, and yadda yadda yadda. Personally, I think that two years into her first term as a small-state Governor, roughly 10 months into her semi-permanent stint as a national punchline, and about eleven months into the criminal investigation that may still bring down her image (if such a thing is indeed possible) it appears more and more that Sarah Palin just couldn't take the heat of being national media figure . . . at least not at this go-round. She was, is, and will be forever be a HORRIBLE choice for Vice-President, the Presidency, the Governorship of Alaska, the Mayoralty of Wasilla, and any and all public office. Nope, Sarah Palin is a Certified Bimbo of the highest order, with all the ugly connotations the term entails. So on THAT score, I was happy to see her go.

The speech itself however, took me to a sad place that forces me to re-evaluate my previously esteemed opinions. Alaska, I sincerely think less of you for electing this lady to your highest office. What the fuck were you thinking you stupid, inbred rednecks? This is the highest office in your state, not the Timber Queen at the Pumpkin Festival.

Get it together.

Oh, this is rich!

Bennett: Sanford needs to stop 'embarrassing himself'

(CNN) – Mark Sanford is "embarrassing himself" and needs to resign as governor of South Carolina, conservative talk radio host and CNN contributor Bill Bennett said Thursday on CNN's American Morning.

Bennett, the latest high profile conservative to call for Sanford's ouster, said it's time for the onetime Republican rising star to ditch politics and focus solely on getting his life back in order.

"I know Mark Sanford. I know him quite well," Bennett said. "He needs to get his life back in order, his marriage back in order. He is embarrassing himself.""

Sanford needs to "stop embarrassing himself." Really? Really? Is THAT what he needs to do, Bill Bennett?

I guess when you're talking about embarrassment, it's probably always better to stick with the experts. I mean, who better to give moralizing lectures on who's an embarrassment and who isn't, than a guy who LITERALLY wrote a book called: "The Book of Virtues" at roughly the same time period that he was losing MILLIONS OF DOLLARS gambling? And this has got to be money shot:

"We have other people," he said. "We have other people who are not only fiscally interesting and sound but also can keep their lives together."

People who can "keep their lives together" eh? People who can keep their lives together? Would part of that whole "keeping your life together" process include shitting out millions of dollars at the craps table?

Bill Bennett . . . shut the fuck up. It ain't up to YOU to decide who's "got their life together" and who hasn't, you moralizing, self-righteous hypocrite.

Lakes of Fire 2009

Friends, Freaks, Oddballs and Odd-birds:

Great Lakes Experimental Arts, Inc., is totally stoked to announce that tickets for the inaugural Lakes of Fire, Great Lakes Regional Burn event will go on sale on Thursday May 7 at 11:00 AM CST / Noon EST. Please recall that you must purchase your tickets on-line, through the link on our website. "http://www.lakesoffire.org/tickets/" There will be absolutely no ticket sales, whatsoever, at the gate . . . as in zero.

The first 200 tickets will be sold for $35, and the remaining 800 will go for $40. We expect this event to sell-out, so don't delay! Everyone 13 and older must purchase a ticket, 12 and under are free. Lakes of Fire has a hard limit on how many participants we're accepting for this event. If you happen to be the 1,001st person to try and get tickets, you will simply be out of luck. And that's no fun at all. Tickets will remain on sale until 1,000 are sold OR 5:00 PM Saturday June 13, whichever comes first.

The Great Lakes area's official Burning Man Regional event, Lakes of Fire is a private event on private land, seeking to bring the artistry and energy of Black Rock City to the upper Midwest, and Ontario. Our site is in beautiful southwest Michigan, USA just about 10 miles outside South Haven. We are approximately 2 hours by car from Chicago, 3.5 hours from Detroit, 4 hours from Indianapolis or Milwaukee, and about 7 hours from Toronto. Specific location details will be sent to those who purchase tickets. Here are our gate hours:

GATE ENTRY:
Thursday – June 25th, 2009
12:00 Noon Gate Opens – 12:00 Midnight – Gate closes.

Friday – June 26th, 2009
8:00 AM – 12:00 Midnight – Gate does not close!

Saturday – June 27th, 2009
12:00 Midnight – 6:00 PM – Gate closes.

Participants only! No spectators please. You must be on site by 6:00 PM Saturday June 27 to participate in Lakes of Fire. No admittance will be allowed after this time.

EXODUS: Sunday – June 28th, 2009
All participants except for volunteer organizers, DPW, and Earth Guardians must be exiting the property at 2:00 P.M. No exceptions.

You can find more details and important information about this event here.

It's critical that you read our Survival Guide as well. You can find it on-line by clicking on this link. This important information really is there to help you. Please read through it thoroughly.

VOLUNTEERING:
Lakes of Fire is a 100% volunteer-run event. That means we need help with Set-up & Placement, DPW, Rangering, Medical/EMT, Parking, Greeters & Gate, Earth Guardians, Effigy, Fire performance and more! So if you want to be a superstar, a rock star and a superhero all at one time-- you can help us pull off this wonderful zygote of a festival, and make the first Lakes of Fire an event we can all be proud of.

Signing up is easy! Just fill out this handy-dandy digital form of wonder. You can check out this link on our website too.

Questions? e-mail Breedlove our wonderful Volunteer Coordinator: breedlove@lakesoffire.org

See you at Lakes of Fire!

The Swell-Time Cabaret!

Thanks to everyone who came out Friday night, especially the fabulous women of Knock Knock Hot Spot.

What a blast!

Grab a martini, settle back, tune in, and lounge out for the second installment of the Swell-Time Cabaret. Hosted by Downtown Dave, this evening of lounge exotica will feature the fabulous talents of the women of VarieTease Cabaret, Chicago's leading burlesque outfit. Get hip folks. This is gonna be a swingin' good time.

Friday, June 5th
8:30ish - $10
678 N. Orleans
The Speakeasy Cabaret
@ the Green Door Tavern.

The historic Green Door Tavern has outstanding pub grub, and great drink specials, so come early for dinner, and stay for sizzling entertainment and one of the most unique little venues in Chicago.

Hope to see you there!

The Downside to RepubliCon Self-Immolation

I certainly agree with the jist of Something The Dog Said's currently front-paged essay at DocuDharma, which suggests that the grand OLD ?Party? is sucking itself into a black hole of self-immolation, at least on the national level, and will not be back to relevance and serious competition until at lesaet 2014. Their base won't support anyone who has the slightest chance of getting elected outside of the South and/or the Mormon belt out West; and they despise moderates who might ostensibly have a shot at it.

While in certain way, this of course fills me with glee, I think there's potential downsides that need to be addressed as well.

I don't know, it's hard for me to see ANY light at the end of the tunnel for the Rad Right, at this point. Their leaders in the House and Senate, and in Statehouses across the country, for the most part, seem pretty comfy where they're at, and wary of "rocking the boat" against the increasingly isolated far-right base. They know that they're going to be re-elected because all that's left at this point are the most conservative districts and states in the country. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins are basically just political museum oddities - the last surviving Moderate Republicans.

Will the GOoP EVER realize that extreme rightism isn't what the country wants? And if they do, will their base be willing to suck it up and accept some level of moderation? I'm not so sure.

What's worrisome that is that we're now dealing with a desperate movement, one which has fallen mighty quickly from the highest heights of political strength, and is now splattering all across the political pavement. The movement is alive, but the political equation has moved to such a degree that this conservative movement is unlikely to be politically viable, on a national level, for the foreseeable future. Desperate movements, who feel they have no electoral options left, are not known for making rational decisions, and accepting defeat at the ballot box.

I'm afraid these rumblings of secession, and that violent outbursts like the one that killed Dr. Tiller, are only going to increase. They're starting to realize they can't win at the ballot box. And without electoral options, violence and extremist "solutions" may be the options they feel they have left.

It's troubling.

Petraeus calls for Gitmo to be closed

BWU-OH!

Gen. Petraeus: US violated Geneva Convention, the court of law could try terrorists: we made mistakes after 9/11: Close Gitmo

"Gen. Petraeus joined FOX News and Martha MacCallum today and gave a blockbuster interview, but probably not the one Fox expected. Once again, he called for the responsible closure of the military prison at Guantanamo Bay. He also said that mistakes were made after 9/11 and that the Army Field Manual is all that we need to use to interrogate prisoners. In addition, he said that we have to have faith in our judicial system and we should try the Khalid Sheikh Muhammads in a court of law.

Martha tried to give him the ticking time bomb scenario to justify torture and he really didn't bite. He did say maybe an Executive Order could be appropriate, but that it really wasn't necessary. Petraeus repudiated pretty much most of what Limbaugh Republicans and the Rove/Newt/Cheney Party have been saying
(rush transcript)

MacCallum: Where do you think those people should go?

Gen. Petraeus: Well, it's not for a soldier to say. What I do support is what has been termed the responsible closure of Gitmo. Gitmo has caused us problems, there's no question about it. I oversee a region in which the existence of Gitmo has been used by the enemy against us. We have not been without missteps or mistakes in our activity since 9/11 and again Gitmo is a lingering reminder for the use of some in
that regard. "

The 'Cons aren't gonna like this. Petraeus strikes me as a careerist first and foremost. If the administration is pushing "de Surge" then by golly he's gonna be all for "de Surge." If the administration wants Gitmo closed then you can bet that Petraeus is going to be falling over himself pimping the necessity of closing Gitmo.

It may be for the wrong reasons, but it's nice to see Petraeus saying some of the right things.

The Parade of Horrors Continues

As if the nightmarish stories and sickening pictures we've heard and seen from Abu Ghraib thus far haven't been nauseating enough, it has now emerged that the long-rumored photographs depicting acts of sexual abuse and outright rape appear to be the real deal, and not just rumors.

From London's The Telegraph:

Abu Ghraib abuse photos 'show rape'

Photographs of alleged prisoner abuse which Barack Obama is attempting to censor include images of apparent rape and sexual abuse, it has emerged

"At least one picture shows an American soldier apparently raping a female prisoner while another is said to show a male translator raping a male detainee.

Further photographs are said to depict sexual assaults on prisoners with objects including a truncheon, wire and a phosphorescent tube. Another apparently shows a female prisoner having her clothing forcibly removed to expose her breasts.

Detail of the content emerged from Major General Antonio Taguba, the former army officer who conducted an inquiry into the Abu Ghraib jail in Iraq."

I'd suggest that you read the whole article if you've got a strong stomach.

I can't say that any new revelations about prisoner abuse in Iraq are particularly surprising to me, although the thought of American forces raping Iraqi detainees in my name, with the aid of my tax dollars, is nauseating in the extreme. But given the recent controversy over whether or not to release the images - one in which President Obama did a complete 180 from his original stance, and decided to withhold the graphic photos - it's beyond dispiriting to be reminded of THIS particular element of the President's explanation:

“I want to emphasize that these photos that were requested in this case are not particularly sensational, especially when compared to the painful images that we remember from Abu Ghraib.”

OK, if there's any truth to this article at all, then President Obama is a bald-faced liar. There is no conceivable way that images of rape and sexual abuse could be even theoretically described as "not particularly sensational, especially when compared to the painful images that we remember from Abu Ghraib."

Another stomach churning morning of existential nausea, here in America.