Thursday, October 22, 2009

Secretary of "Education" Arne Duncan: Dumbfuck

Duncan to call for change in teachers' education

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Secretary of Education Arne Duncan is expected to push for reforms in how teachers are taught when he speaks at Teachers College at Columbia University in New York on Thursday.

According to advanced quotes released by the U.S. Department of Education, he will say that "schools, colleges and departments of education are doing a mediocre job of preparing teachers for the realities of the 21st-century classroom." He will call for a "revolutionary" change in teacher preparation programs.

Duncan estimates that about 200,000 new teachers will enter U.S. school systems annually."
Hey Dumbfuck:

You, with the ever-so-serious look on your face and your respectable quaff of neatly greyed hair. Yeah . . . you . . . dumbfuck.

The problem with our school systems isn't that the universities are doing a poor job preparing teachers. The problem is that teachers and administrators don't run schools on the state or national level in any way shape or form. When we run the army, we call a general. When we run the Justice Department, we call a lawyer. When we run the educational system, we call a politician . . . like you . . . dumbfuck.

See, the funny thing about you Arne, is that you've never been a teacher, or a building supervisor in your life.

Not even once.

So even though I am pretty new to being a teacher . . . I feel that I have just a little more real-world experience in education than you do . . . you dumbfuck. The other problem with you, Arne, is that you built your whole career in Chicago on corporatizing schools, warping education into a for-profit process with lots and lots of non-union shops. Oh and closing schools . . . glad to see that you're proud enough of that to go ahead and list it as one of your accomplishments. So sure we've got some technically new schools . . but the exact benefits of our shiny new corporate charter schools here in Chicago are murky to say the least. And the benefits of closing down all those other schools are completely unknown. We've got bizarre new scenarios where two or three separate "schools" all share one building that used to be just one school . . . the whole thing makes no sense whatsoever.

But hey! Millions upon millions of tax dollars were spent, union jobs were eliminated and then replaced with non-union jobs,

Thanks for that, you dumbfuck.

Hey speaking of dumbfucks, Arne. Here's one of your colleagues, and probably close friends, Indiana Superintendent of Public Instruction Tony Bennet. If the two of you aren't acquainted, then you should be introduce. Why I'll bet the two of you would get along famously . . . after all, you're both dumbfucks.

Now Bennett is one-up on you, Arne. He spent all of 17 months as a building supervisor. Apparently that was enough for him, so now he's got some grand ideas on how to fix Indiana's schools. Like you, Arne, this jagbag has decided that what's really ailing our schools is that the universities aren't really giving teachers what they need, and that teacher education requirements should be different. But he's willing to take an even further step into jagoffishness . . . he's going to tell us that our licensing requirements should be less "burdensome."

This moron's plan is to:
"Eliminate burdensome requirements for new teachers and replace them with a better program. Under current regulations, beginning teachers are required to create teaching portfolios and participate in a teacher-mentor program to move from the initial practitioner license to a proficient practitioner license."
As if anyone in an actual school setting believes that what's ailing our schools is that "the licensing requirements are too burdensome." Yes! Finally we have it pure gold that is capital-E Education capital-R Reform! Oh sweet Jesus! Thank you lord in heaven! It was the teacher's portfolio requirement that was really tanking the whole system!

YES! Let's just shuffle the way we fill out our paperwork!!!! See if something statistically relevant pops out! This has never been tried before!

Perhaps you, Arne Duncan Dumbfuck and your ol' pal from next door, Tony "Big Jagoff" Bennett, can find more ways for us to shuffle the deck chairs the paperwork on this titanic ship of education! Maybe one day we'll stumble upon something that might have worked if we hadn't cancelled the program after six months! It'll be grand!

But whatever we do . . . let's not put teachers and building administrators in charge of our schools.

Because that will never work.

*Thank you Getty Images!


John Stoner said...

Have you read 'Whatever it Takes' by Paul Tough? Story of the Harlem Children's Zone? Very interesting stuff.

acuvue oasys said...

omg - LMAO @ dave's post! :) LOL, your writing style is a joy to read man - keep it up!

Downtown Dave said...

Haven't read it John. I'll have to check it out.