Saturday, February 14, 2009

Some people are wrong on the internet.

Or . . . The Beauty of the Blood Fountains

Wherein I eviscerate a wingnut who had cut and paste, in its entirety, over 20 paragraphs of this right wing garbage, in the middle of a discussion forum.
Murphy's Law, the Peter Principle and Barack Obama

By Kyle-Anne Shiver

What happens when everything that can go wrong in a person's character formation does go wrong, and that person continues to be promoted to his level of incompetence?

President Barack Obama happens.

I'm well into my sixth decade of life and have yet to see a more perfect collision of Murphy's Law with the Peter Principle in a single individual.

Proper character development is the overriding aim of good parents in raising their children. Mature parents, especially those Judeo/Christian parents with faith, believe it sinful to raise a child without strong self-constraint, a well-formed conscience, ingrained humility and an ironclad respect for the rights of others. Children raised thusly become self-supporting adults, honest in their dealings with others and prone to be contributing members of the society at large.

The world is purely chock full of bad parents, however. Plum chock full.
Now bear in mind that this invective was posted in its complete 20+ paragraphs, in the middle of a discussion forum. (I won't post the whole screed here, it's too rancid, and there's copyright issues.) My response begins thusly:
Wow K______ - {1270}.

Well over 20 paragraphs of someone else's material! I'm sure this hilarious and thoughtful cut and paste job was a lot of hard work, and for that I salute you. Sure it's totally against the Cafe rules, but as an illustrative case point in just how deeply one can dig a hole using someone else's words, I'll gladly petition the moderators to allow it to stand.

And thanks for the laughs - seriously! This woman Kyle-Anne Shiver is aptly named, and absolutely hilarious - in a turd-in-my-morning-coffee sort of way. I'm not the world's biggest O-bot, but it IS nice to see that our President is so reviled by that Radical Right. I think Geithner's new scheme to bail out Wall Street is a ginormous stinkpot, but President Obama must be doing SOMETHING right. Look at how pissed off right wingers are! Hee hee. This is awesome!

As for the "American Thinker," well, it IS good to know the view from the ceiling. Only from the loftiest valleys of Upside-Down Land could someone look at Barack Obama's bio and blithely conclude that "everything that could have gone wrong, did." But let's be honest, shall we? I mean we all know ANY Democrat who wins election is going to be up against this sort of turd-in-your-coffee RadWrong "commentary." It would be better if they just used this as a boiler plate - replace Barack Obama with "Elected Democrat" and then plug in the bio bullet points - you've got yourself a perfectly primed invective. And it's modular!

This is the part with which I really had a problem:
The characters in this President's closet are too strange for fiction -- Jeremiah Wright, Tony Rezko, the New Party, Billy Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, Louis Farrakhan, Mayor Daly, Rod Blagojevich, George Soros, assorted tax cheats and pay-to-play schemers of every variety.
Okay, this list of left/liberal bogeymen is running dangerously short. First off, no one knows who the New Party, and Bernadine Dohrn are. Secondly, the bogeymen list has . . . ahem left off some seriously heavy-hitters in the lineup of "people right wingers love to hate and are afraid of." Where's [presumed] Sen. Al Franken, ACORN or Michael Moore? Where's left wing bloggers in their mothers' basements? Where's welfare mothers, islamofascists, illegal immigrants, or Chicago Mayor Richard Daley? Who is this Mayor 'Daly' character anyway? [What - ya dumb sack of shit, Ms. Shiver - you got Blagojevich right but you couldn't look up 'Daley'?]

The list of Left Wing Bogeymen is too short, and ineffective.
And continues here:
But you know what?!? On second thought, I want to thank you K______, for sharing with us this moment in time, and this wonderful cut and paste job.

As a partisan progressive at this special time in America, reading stuff like Ms. Shiver's "commentary" is wonderful for me, because it's just like . . . gosh . . . a marginally progressive African-American President is, conclusively, very popular right now. And you read stuff like Ms. Shiver's and you just know . . . . my god . . . it's a moment we've all been waiting for - their heads are fucking exploding on the RadRight.

I mean it is brain matter and blood fountains everywhere in GOP offices and sweaty hate-radio stations all across America right now, and the spatter is just . . . god it's marvelous!

It's joyous to watch. Republican heads exploding.

Look at 'em go!

Boom! There's another one!

Boom! There's Ms. Shiver!

When's Krauthammer gonna blow!?!? Oh tell me that wonderful moment is coming!!!!

And then the blood, it just goes swirling down the drain.

Hypnotic . . . the swirling.
Gotta love hangin out with my peeps over in The New Cafe. It's officially non-partisan so there's plenty of dialogue with conservatives and Republicans. Refuting their lies is fun and easy! God I love it - if I could do it all day I suppose I would! Somebody pay me some money for this shit, this is THE GOODS!

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