Monday, November 17, 2008

Jeepers! Is Obama the ANTI-CHRIST?!?!?!?!

I heard that President-elect Barack Obama might be the Anti-Christ!!! Holy shit! Can it be true? Let's find out, shall we!?!?!

To make this a thorough investigation, let's go take a look at a respected, mainstream News-Magazine. They are sure to have the answer. Oh here's a major mainstream news-magazine!! You may have heard of it. It's called Newsweek, and it's been around since the 1930's!! Perhaps Newsweek will inform us of the specifics of this important issue . . . as to whether President-elect Obama is or is not the Anti-Christ.

Is Obama the Antichrist?

BELIEF WATCH by Lisa Miller

The winning lottery number in Illinois was 666, which, as everyone knows, is the sign of the Beast.

"Already Barack Obama had drawn the attention of apocalypse watchers after an anonymous e-mail circulated among conservative Christians in October implying that he was the Antichrist. Former "Saturday Night Live" ingĂ©nue Victoria Jackson fueled the fire when, according to news reports, she wrote on her Web site that Obama "bears traits that resemble the anti-Christ." Now Strandberg was receiving up-to-the-minute news from his constituents in Illinois. One of the winning lottery numbers in the president-elect's home state was 666— which, as everyone knows, is the sign of the Beast (also known as the Antichrist). "It is very eerie, and I take it for a sign as to who he really is," wrote one of Strandberg's correspondents."

. . .

Before Christ comes again, those who are saved will ascend to heaven, according to this end-times theology, in a huge, upward whoosh called the Rapture. Strandberg is so certain that the Rapture is coming, he's bought a number of Internet addresses in addition to RaptureReady: AntiAntichrist, Tribulationus and RaptureMe. In the event that RaptureReady crashes during the apocalypse, anyone who needs an update will, with a simple Google search, be able to get one. Strandberg says Obama probably isn't the Antichrist, but he's watching the president-elect carefully."

That's some real fascinating information . . . Lisa Miller from Newsweek. It's good to know that people who know the Anti-Christ when they see him/her/it are paying attention . . . I mean someone besides Fox News. And thank God at long last that Mr. Strandburg thinks Obama 'probably isn't' the Anti-Christ. But double thank God, thank God again!- that at least Mr. Strandburg is keeping his eyes open, and quote "watching the President-elect carefully" unquote.

It's understood, of course, as the good the people at Newsweek will tell you, that it's important that someone is watching President-elect Obama for "Anti-Christish" behavior . . . because Right Wingers in this nation aren't crazy enough.

A new low for this old rag.


Anonymous said...

I've been saying this for months, tongue in cheek, so it must be the truth. - EC

Downtown Dave said...

In a way, Ms. Miller is taking me back . . . to my insane junior high social studies teacher in south central Indiana in the early 1990's, who used his public school social studies classroom as a platform of sorts . . . to advance his theories about the Book of Revelation, Nostradamus, and the coming Anti-Christ . . . in that order.

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