Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Red Russia?!?! Can I get me a Cold Warrior?

What was the one thing that the band of pygmies in the GOP Presidential Primary were able to agree upon during their mouth-breathing, liberal-hatin "debates?"

I could sum it up in two words: Ronald Reagan
THESIS: The RepubliCon Elite wish to use the Crisis in the Caucasus region to re-fight the Cold War, because if there's one thing John McCain can claim some expertise in - it's fighting the god-damned Russians . . .
. . . oh and of course - "the gooks."

More-of-the-same McCain's words, not mine.

Call it a hunch, but I think that Karl Rove's little "vacation" down at the Yalta Conference this past July 10-13th, in the Crimean region of the Ukraine (during which he met with such luminaries as Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili, as well as the President of the Council on Foreign Relations, Richard Haass) is telling here. The fact that Rove was also skipping out on testimony before a House Judiciary Subcommittee - in a nation with no extradition treaty - was just icing on the cake.

Here is more of the full rundown on the situation in the Caucasus region. But it's quite clear that, with Randy Scheunemann's two hundred thousand dollar tongue slithering into the ear of John McCain (paid for by the Georgian government); and with McCain's surrogates racing to the region to . . . do something . . . the RepubliCons Elite intend to tred a very familiar path - bellicose war-mongering against Red Russia!!

We forget two things: that Karl Rove is still alive, doing what he likes to do; and that he's no dummy. When the GOoP "debates" were going on, the ONE THING each little baby-man in the band of pygmies could coalesce around, with a warm and saccharine glow, was that HE was should be the first one to drink his fill from the soft, buttery nipples of Ronald Reagan. If there is one thing that RepubliCons world-wide can agree upon, it's that Reagan was probably the Second Coming.

I'm no concern troll, and the ethical implications of manipulating international bloodshed to secure your electorate are putrid. But this is a very smart, and very easy move for the RepubliCon Elite. And here's why:

Because John McCain has absolutely nothing else, and because it's a very rare point of gut-faith agreement amongst the GOoPers nationwide. If nothing else, bellicosity and war-mongering will take Republicans of all stripes back to a happier, simpler time, when we fought the Red Russians. Bin Laden hasn't been seen for years, and nothing seems to be happening. Iraq, oh God they definitely don't want to talk about Iraq. Iran feels, well, risky.

But Russia! That's well-tred ground, folks. John McCain was the ultimate Cold Warrior! Did you hear about how he's a war hero who was in a cage in 'Nam? Turns out it's true. (Nevermind about whether he did or did not lose five airplanes.) If the 'Cons can foster or just stoke another mini-Cold War for awhile, it will, at the very least, solidify their base.

And that's a problem.

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