Curtis Mayfield: Cooler than you.

Sorry, no offense. You're cool - totally cool.

It's just that you're not as cool as Curtis Mayfield.

Which is fine. There's nothing wrong with that. You've got your interests, and your career, and Jamie is really great, you two are awesome together. You've really got a lot goin on right now; that thing at the art gallery was totally bitchin. I had such a great time! Yo we STUMBLED outta that place. That was a blast. So in no way am I saying that you're not cool.

Because you are. And Jamie's cool . . . just, everything is cool and lovely here. No one is saying anyone isn't cool here. Okay? We're all cool.

It's just that you're not as cool as the guy who wrote "Freddie's Dead," and "No Thing On Me," and the entire soundtrack to "Superfly," cementing his legend in music history with provocative and visceral lyrics, and an oft-sampled and utterly unique funk-soul style, while eminently lighting up dance floors and quiet lounges alike for thirty-five years and counting. I've been listening to Curtis Mayfield for probably ten years now, and I've known you almost as long, and the one thing we can all definitively agree upon here, is that you're not as cool as him.

So let's just table that discussion, the whole, "Are you as cool as Curtis Mayfield" question, shall we?-now that we categorically understand that you are not.